Thoughts of a Self-Claimed Nomad

Dare I even call myself a nomad still now that I’ve landed in a place where I will most likely live for the next 3-4 years?

The answer is yes, yes, I dare.

Because I am very careful with my language especially when it comes to stating I will be in a place for an X amount of time. It’s never a definite, nor should it be.

And therefore, I do like to believe I am still a nomad at heart.

My kind of homeostasis

WHERE DOES THAT FEELING COME FROM?

I like to believe I stem from an actual nomadic lineage. I don’t know how these things work exactly, but there must be a logical way to explain the strong pull to this way life and how I go about it.

What that way of life is, I might hear you ask?

Well, at this stage I’ve been in an almost constant state of flow and movement ever since I was (almost) an adult (according to the Dutch law) and it’s the most natural feeling in the world to me to float around and let the wind take me wherever I need to go next.

What this doesn’t mean, though, is that this is an ever-easy breezy way of living and it’s fun and adventurous all the time. It may seem like it, but it’s not always the case.

It’s hard work in a way.

It’s mostly mentally challenging because this way of living doesn’t align with the paved pathway that most people are happily (or not so happily, but who am I to judge the level of happiness in others) following.

That path, you might ask now?

Well, I’ve talked about this at length in other blogs such as Why the Hyrbid Life Works for Me and The Fear of Stagnation, but let me summarise what this path looks like to:

Grow up in a suburb > study > have fun > settle down after studies early-mid-twenties) > find a job > find a steady partner > buy a house together (and consequently commit to a mortgage, person, and place all at once) > have kids (even more steadiness and commitment) > work and live in the same place close to where you grew up for the rest of your life.

And again, for most people I know this is the chosen path and the one they are happy with and the last thing I am going to do is argue with that.

Because what other people do is their business.

It just gets a bit difficult that what “most other people” do, or at least the majority of people I know (which is a very filtered and bias filter), is so different from what I feel like I want to achieve in my life. Or better, how I like to live my life.

HOW I LIKE TO LIVE MY LIFE

To live a free, simple, and cyclical life.

And to me, this means a location-independent and pretty much 'wherever the wind takes me' kind of life.

According to my birth chart, I am a homebound person who likes to live in the comfort of her own home.

Isn’t that ironic?

But I get it. I get where that comes from because all I’m really doing is working towards creating a steady base for myself. Not a forever home in a steady location, but a base where I feel safe and a base that I can take with me wherever I go.

What I also am, though, is a stubborn human.

I will do this my way and my way only.

It doesn’t help this also seems to mean I want to build my homebase on the other side of the world than where I grew up.

And I may hear you asking me another question here, the question being “why, though, why build that homebase on the other side of the world?”.

My standard and most honest answer: It’s my gut telling me I need to be here.

Perhaps these little (big) fellas had something to do with it too 🦘

And it’s hard to argue with my gut.

Believe me I’ve tried.

But my gut is persistent.

And it’s not just my gut starting a silent or not so silent protest when I am following a path that is not aligned with my own personal values, it’s my whole body and mind protesting it.

BUT WHAT DOES THIS ACTUALLY MEAN?

I know I am very much not the only one who lives this kind of life. Whichever shape that may be in. And I also know there’ll always come a moment in which “us nomads” are misunderstood because people simply can’t understand what you’re saying when you try to explain that this way of life just kinda choose us instead of us it. Why would the majority of people be able to understand this very abstract concept if there’s a way easier and more convenient route that can be taken?

And I know there are other people like me out there who find it challenging to explain why this is the only way for them.

That’s why I am trying to express those feelings into words and list what living a modern-day nomad life means to me, personally.

It means that…

…I will remain a wanderer, a backpacker, or Domi the Explorer, if you will, floating from one place to another, from shared house to shared house and job to job always working towards my goal until I feel like I am there. And so far, nothing has been able to stop me from doing that.

…I can be found in random spots with my laptop just typing away because I feel inspired and because I am very good at creating a little “base” for me wherever I go. Even if it’s just at a bench at a bus stop or airport.

…I am very comfortable spending time on my own and can spend days on end just wandering around floating from one place to the next without really making plans with anyone.

…routines are a very important part of my life.

…living cyclically can me challenging because the body does not always agree with the ongoing changes of scenery and situations.

…I can decide to move on from one day to the other which might startle people around me who have grown fond of me (and I of them) or have just gotten used to having me around.

…I will keep investing in friendships worth investing in wherever I might end up going (and this is a difficult one to get across and to find trust in).

…friendships usually have different stages and structures for me and can go deep very quickly and will have different dynamics than most long-lasting friendships may have.

…I have difficulties being my true and full self around others because that part actually takes time. It's my default to float along after 4-5 months, so I often find myself presenting a version of myself to the new people in my life that results in, as beautifully said in the second season of the Netflix show Love Life, constructing chameleonic versions of myself to fit in with the person or group of people.

…I have become very good at adapting to a new situation or location in the broadest sense.

…I can invest in people in a very intense way but also that my attention span is short and I can move on quickly.

…the words ‘casual’ and ‘serious’ or other common relationship terms can trigger me because I see all my relationships as something meaningful, even when they’re only fleeting.

…I can be sensitive to other people’s moods and emotions because I am so used to being on my own.

…I wish I had the courage to say that to people’s faces without feeling judged or too intense.

…I am a boomerang and will always circle back to places where I made connections with like-minded people.

…I am never really sure about my next steps and live in a state of uncertainty for the majority of my life.

I can keep on going but I think you get the gist of it.

It's not good, it's not bad, it just is.

And that's the point I want to get across.

Don't over-romantisise a life that is not your own. It's pointless and will likely not get you much further on your own personal path.

And maybe think about of what having chosen a path or life might mean too you and how going into a different direction might affect that. Or not.

That's it from me for now.

All the love.

Xoxo Domi